For all women out there :)

“There are no dateable guys out there; I haven’t found a guy with even 2 items on my checklist”

“I have a checklist too, each year I don’t find the man of my dreams I take another item of the list, soon this list is going to be a white piece of paper…”

That was a part of the conversation between Hilary duff and her boss in “Beauty and the briefcase”.  Although her boss was a successful, beautiful woman; but yet she felt she needed to lower her standards in order to get a man, any man. the truth is, a lot of women think that way; the fear of being alone makes them insecure that they’ll willing to settle with any man as long as he breathes.

And to these women, you should be ashamed of yourselves! You’re independent, smart, educated women of qualities and you deserve to have men of qualities like you are. You should never under any circumstances accept anything less than what you deserve.

Everywoman should have her own list and her own standards that she holds on to; I am not talking about a list that contains items like “Playing a music instrument, a foreign accent” like the movie did. I am talking about things like: “Education, ambition, treating you well, supporting, helpful…” and many other things that can’t be just optional, they must be a MUST in your partner; they’re necessary and you can’t live without.

Dear women; you should all know that there are good men out there, there are men who will appreciate you and treat you the way you deserve to be treated; NEVER settle for less!  And you should know that “Act like a jerk and she’ll fall for you!” a rule that only works with women who have low self-esteem; because women of high quality WILL NOT accept to be treated with disrespect or depreciation, so be one!  :)

The society has gone crazy!

I love the fuchsia color; do you love it too? Maybe yes, maybe no

I know that this will sound insane; but who do you think is better, someone who loves the fuchsia color, or someone who doesn’t?

Who do you think is more beautiful; A blonde, a brunette or a red-head??

What do you think is prettier, long hair cuts or short haircuts?

Do you think if I said that I like rap music, people would judge me?

Isn’t it strange that here in Africa people are obsessed by having a whiter paler skin; while Europeans who actually have that skin pay lots of money to get a nice tan?

In the past, racism was defined as discrimination according to skin color; black people were to be treated as if they were somehow less than white people. Racism was a very bad thing and the word “Racist” was offensive.

Nowadays, racism has gotten a better look and many different names. And instead of attacking it, we all began to be its followers.

Yes, racism is everywhere; it’s inside the magazines pages that girls think they’re like sacred or something, it’s on  TV 24/7 on different channels, it’s in streets and schools… it’s everywhere!  

Society now puts patterns for how we’re supposed to look, dress and act; and anyone who doesn’t fit in these patterns is considered somehow less than the others… I call that racism!

I have friends who are like size 2 and they actually think they’re fat, only because they don’t look like the models in the magazines that are like size zero or something, or because they have pear shaped body, blah blah blah…

I have friends who wear colors and outfits they don’t really like, just because they saw them in a fashion magazine!

I have friends who lie about the music they listen to or the hobbies they like, just because according to our society they’re uncool!

Seriously, what’s wrong with us? How can we let some magazines or some TV shows judge us like that? How can we let them tell us how we should look or what we should like? What gave them that right?

The society is getting crazy and we have to stop it. The definition of “Beauty”, “Coolness”, “Fashionable” or whatever words they use has to be changed. And we have to stop competing ourselves with anyone.

Start by yourself, stop being a follower to “Racism” and be the leader of your own life!

Let the kindess flow

I am going to tell you a secret; well I guess it won’t be a secret anymore. It’s a system that I have been using for a while and it brought me a lot of joy thank God :) To be honest, I am not the one who made it up, but I don’t remember where I got it from :)

So here it is; whenever someone does a kindness act towards you, you go do the same act to someone else. I call it “The circle of kindness”; for example, if someone compliments you, you go compliment someone else (A real compliment of course on something you really like about him). If you got a call from an old friend and it made you happy, go call another old friend and ask how he is doing :) if you get a text message from a friend in the morning that gives you a big smile, send a message to another friend and brighten his day :) Even if someone smiles at you, be sure to smile at someone else :)

 Got it? The idea is to let the kindness flow among us. It’s not to be a hypocrite and act like you care about these people; it’s about doing something nice to people whoever they are and to make them happy with a little act of kindness. And I am sure that when people are happy it reflects on their jobs and their relationships; so it’s like killing too many birds with one stone :)

Remember; just like energy can never be destroyed, kindness acts can never be wasted, they just flows from one person to another :)

Bad outfit day...

Today, I decided to have a “Bad outfit day”; even though I usually take care of what I wear all the time and I make sure I look chic, today I decided to care less about it. I wanted to remind myself that how I look has no effect whatsoever on my self-esteem and my looks don’t define me in anyway.

So I chose the white color for my veil (Worst color for my complexion), I wore an old shirt that looked like a school uniform and I went to college. I noticed the looks of my friends who aren’t used to see me dressed that badly, they couldn’t even fake a compliment; but actually I felt great all the time, I didn’t even care that I wasn’t dressed well.

 Taking care of ourselves is extremely important and it must be a priority, but obsessing by how we look can only do our self-esteem harm, and it’s good for us to care less even for a day… It doesn’t matter how fashionable I am if I don’t have anything else to show to the world; and it doesn’t matter how pretty Barbie looks as long as she’s just a doll, empty from the inside, no brain and no heart…

Never forget that it’s the inside that matters the most no matter how other people judge :))    

و ظني فيك ربي جميل :)

رأيي ان الواحد عشان يعرف دينه بجد، البداية مش انه يعرف الحلال و الحرام و قواعد الفقه و حفظ القرآن، رأيي ان عشان اعرف ديني بجد الخطوة الاولي لازم تكون اني اعرف ربي :) (ده رأي شخصي مش اكتر)

عشان كده، بعد ما تابعت سلسلة "بأسمك نحيا"، طلعت برسايل صغيرة كتبتها عندي عشان اعيش بيهم

تعلمت ان الله هو:

الرحمن الرحيم: في كل حاجة دور علي رحمة ربنا، و خاصة في المصايب، اعرف ان رحمته دايما موجوده، دور علي عوض ربنا هتلاقيه :)

المجيب: كان في مرة مجموعة من الناس رايحين يصلوا صلاة استسقاء "عشان المطر ينزل"، كلهم كانوا رايحين عادي، بس واحد فيهم كان رايح و واخد المظلة معاه، هو ده اليقين اللي المفروض يبقي عندنا و احنا بندعي :)

قال الله تعالى: "وَقَالَ رَبُّكُمُ ادْعُونِي أَسْتَجِبْ لَكُمْ"                                                                                           

 محطلهاش شرط، و محطش واسطة بينا و بينه سبحانه و تعالي :) 

القريب: قال تعالي "وَنَحْنُ أَقْرَبُ إِلَيْهِ مِنْ حَبْلِ الْوَرِيد"، اما بنناجي ربنا، مش بنحتاج نشرح و نفسر و نوجد اعذار، هو عارف كل حاجة! مش هيفهمك غلط، مش هيظلمك، و دايما و في آى وقت هيسمعلك... لو عشنا بالاسم ده قوي صعب اننا نحتاج لحد نشكيله و نحكيله،  هنحتاج لمين و احنا معانا القريب :)

الشكور: متستهونش بأي حاجة خير تعملها مهما تكون صغيره، لو انت نسيت و الناس نست ربك الشكور مش بينسي، و هيشكرك عليها،  اعمل الخير و ارميه البحر عشان ربك سمي نفسه الشكور :)

علي كل حاجة لازم نتعود نشكر ربنا، عشان هو هيشكرنا علي شكرنا ليه و هيزودنا، قال تعالي" لَئِن شَكَرْتُمْ لأَزِيدَنَّكُم"ْ

حاجة كمان، اشكر الناس علي جمايلهم، خلي عندك وفاء، و اوعي تكون ناكر للجميل، قال صلي الله عليه و سلم " لا يشكر الله من لا يشكر الناس"

الودود: بص للدنيا بنظرة جديدة، شوف الالوان، الزهور، المناظر الطبيعية، انواع الطعام المختلفة اللي بنحبها... كل حاجة فيها ابداع من الله و جمال في الارض. هو ربنا خلق كل ده ليه؟ ربنا خلقه عشان احنا نستمتع بيه و نمتع حواسنا بخلق الله، في كل حاجة جميلة افتكر ان ربنا خلقها عشان يودك :) فهو الودود سبحانه :)

الجبار: مع المظلوم علي الظالم، مش هيضيع حقك، و هيجبر بخاطرك... اوعي تظلم حد :)

الوكيل: توكل علي الله و متخافش من المستقبل، توكل علي الله و هو مش هيضيعك، توكل علي الله و اسعي، لأن ربنا بيحب السعي.. :)

الرزاق: كل حاجة ليها طريق حلال و طريق حرام، انت اللي بتختار الطريق اللي توصلها بيه، سواء هيوديك الجنة او النار هي هي نفس الحاجة اللي هتوصلها في الدنيا، لأن الرزق مكتوب!

قال تعالي "وَفِي السَّمَاءِ رِزْقُكُمْ وَمَا تُوعَدُونَ * فَوَرَبِّ السَّمَاءِ وَاْلأَرْضِ إِنَّهُ لَحَقٌّ مِثْلَ مَا أَنَّكُمْ تَنطِقُونَ"

الهادي: كل يوم، 17 مرة بنقول "اهدنا الصراط المستقيم"، ممكن كتير مننا مش بيحسوا باللي بيقولوه ده، لو حسناه، و بجد تخيلنا نفسنا ماشيين علي صراط الذين انعم الله عليهم، الانبياء و الصالحين، ممكن خشوعنا في الصلاة يقوي قوي :)

ربنا هدانا بالفطرة للاسلام من قبل ما نتولد، و هدانا تاني الحمدلله و فضلنا مسلمين، نحمد ربنا بقي علي هدايته ليينا و منعلقش ذنوبنا علي شماعة (مهو اصل لسة ربنا مهدانيش و خلاني اصلي)  عشان دي مش حجة لترك الصلاة (ولا لأي معصية طبعا)... ربنا يهدينا جميعا :)

الفتاح: "الله يفتح عليك" من احلي الدعوات اللي ممكن تدعيها لحد، ربنا يفتح علينا في يومنا، و يفتحلنا آى باب مقفول يكون في الخير لينا :)

الكريم: يا انسان، ربنا اكرمك و فضلك حتي علي الملايكة، فازاي ترضي تذل نفسك بالمعاصي؟ عيش كريم الخلق، كريم النفس، عشان لما تقف قدام ربنا تقوله "يا رب انا مذلتش نفسي بعد ما كرمتني"، اوعي تذل نفسك قدام نفسك :)

الغفور: مش معناها بس ان ربنا يسامحك علي الذنب، لأ ده كمان بيستر عليك، يستر عليك في الدنيا و في الآخرة عشان تكون قدام الناس محترم، مهما كبر ذنبك، طالما استغفرت الله...

اوعي يفوت يوم منغير ما نستغفر ربنا "وَمَا كَانَ اللَّهُ مُعَذِّبَهُمْ وَهُمْ يَسْتَغْفِرُونَ"

و في حاجة تانية كمان، سامح الناس و استر عليهم عشان ربنا يستر عليك، اوعي تفضح حد، و اوعي برده تفضح نفسك... افتكر قول صلي الله عليه و سلم " كُلُّ أُمَّتِي مُعَافًى إِلَّا الْمُجَاهِرِينَ وَإِنَّ مِنْ الْمُجَاهَرَةِ أَنْ يَعْمَلَ الرَّجُلُ بِاللَّيْلِ عَمَلاً ثُمَّ يُصْبِحَ وَقَدْ سَتَرَهُ اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ فَيَقُولَ يَا فُلَانُ عَمِلْتُ الْبَارِحَةَ كَذَا وَكَذَا وَقَدْ بَاتَ يَسْتُرُهُ رَبُّهُ وَيُصْبِحُ يَكْشِفُ سِتْرَ اللَّهِ عَنْهُ

" اوعي تمشي فرحان بالمعصية و فاكرها هتخليك كول، استغفر ربنا عشان يسامحك و يستر عليك :)

العزيز: اوعي تذل نفسك لحد، اطلب الحاجة بعزة نفس، لأنك عبد العزيز. مترضاش لنفسك تتذل لبني آدم و انت عبد العزيز، و برده اوعي، اياك تذل حد :)

الحق: ربنا سمي نفسه الحق، هيقف جنب الحق، و هيظهر الحق و هينصر الحق، ياللي علي الحق متخافش :)

....... طبعا كل الحاجات دي ولا حاجة بالنسبة لعظمة ربنا و جلاله، بس ده اللي ربنا قدرني بمعرفته، يا رب اكون افدتكوا :)

Some of my quotes… :))

A perfect life isn't a happy life, it's an imaginary one!

Don't think that a happy person is someone who has no problems in his life, or that his life is better than yours; because it isn't!!  He's just someone who chose to be happy and to overcome his problems!!

Don't judge a person by his smile; because maybe underneath, he's hiding a lot of  pain.

A happy person is a person who's strong enough to smile even though he's in pain; and chose to be optimistic when life lets him down :))

When someone smiles to you, it doesn’t mean he’s perfectly happy; it just means he chose not to drag you in his drama; you gotta respect that :))

When someone says “I am happy” or “I am awesome”, it doesn’t mean he always feels this way; maybe he’s just trying to convince himself he is… so don’t judge… :))

No one is happy 24/7, even happy people. But there are people who are miserable 24/7, they’re called drama queens; don’t be one :))

Happy Easter everyone :))

Be kind...

Sometimes, I do something that I know is wrong, not just me, I am sure everybody does. I feel horrible and despicable afterwards; I cry a lot, and regret what I did; not in a good way, but sort of extreme way that I  sometimes hate myself a little … The only thought that makes me feel better is “I made a mistake, but it’s okay because I am still learning” :)

It doesn’t matter if all the people I know tell me that it’s okay, I always need to hear it from myself; I need to talk kindly to myself! I need to comfort myself and tell myself that everything is okay!

  Sometimes you need to treat yourself like you treat a little kid, teach him with love and kindness; be kind to yourself because if you won’t, no one else will :)

If people are cruel on you, don’t be on their side; be kind to yourself; because “You” are the only one you have in the end...  And only when you are kind with yourself, you will learn to be TRULY kind with the others… :)

Ghosts form the past!

Have you ever had your heart broken; have you ever had someone in your life that took your heart and shattered it into pieces? How long has it been; weeks, months, or maybe years? … How exactly would you feel if I mentioned that someone’s name now? Do you wish you can hurt them back or don’t you hold a grudge?

Most people get their heart broken at least once in their lifetime, whether they get cheated on, lied to or even they get treated rudely or hear hurtful words; it’s nothing to be happy about, but it’s simply life. Some people learn how to move on and let go of their past; but sadly, a lot of people get stuck in it; they waste their present weeping about what happened, and hoping they can get even one day, hoping they can confront the person that hurt them and tell them exactly how they feel. Time passes, but the story remains unfinished; it haunts the person’s mind like a ghost and it makes him unable to get on with his life…

Oh :0 , that’s a lot of drama! :D I am not used to write that negatively! I swear I didn’t mean to remind you of some sad memories; but, on a second thought, I did! I did want you to remember that person who is haunting you mind right now; I want you to remember how bad he made you feel one day, and how much you wanted to kill him then, maybe you still want to :D

I want you to ask yourself this question “What is he thinking about now?”… well, of course you don’t know what is he thinking about now, but the chance that he is thinking about you is 1 in a million… So, why are you so obsessed with him? Your obsession is not helping you getting even; it’s only hurting you and making you feel bad all the time! I know he hurt you, I know he disappointed you; but it’s not about him anymore, it’s about you now. So why don’t you just let go?

Years ago, I had my heart broken in every possible way by my best friend (ex-best friend of course); I used to get very mad and feel horrible when I hear her name, I was like “Shoot me please!” until I realized that the only one who was feeling bad was me, she wasn’t; and I knew that I didn’t deserve to be sad all this time, I was the oppressed not the oppressor. So I decided to feel good and forget all about her! Of course it wasn’t easy for me to forgive someone who hurt me that much, but I practically forced myself into it, I decided to be the better person and to let go; and by time, it got better. To be honest, I am not 100% in piece with her of course I am not and angel; but now when I meet her I don’t feel any kind of sadness, I don’t want something bad to happen to her, I even sympathize with her sometimes when she has a problem…

So, today’s lesson is: Learn how to forgive and to let go, it’s not just a gift to the people who hurt you, it’s the only way you can get your inner peace and you can keep your heart pure; and that serenity is what millions are dreaming of :) :)

جدد نيتك :)

اتنين ستات ، كل واحدة في مطبخها بتقشر بصل و عنيها بتوجعها و عمالة  تدمع....

الاولي، من جواها عمالة تهري و تمكت في نفسها "قطعت الجواز و سنينه! ما انا كنت قاعدة مرتاحة في بيت اهلي! يللا بالسم الهاري!!"

اما التانية، من جواها بتقول "يا رب انا بعمل كل ده عشانك! يا رب ارضي عني يا رب! يا رب خلي عملي ده في ميزان حسناتي!"

 

صحيح، الاتنين دول بيعملوا نفس الحاجة بالظبط من بره، بس من جوا الفرق كبير قوي! الست التانية دي جددت نيتها و اخدت علي عمل صغير قوي زي تقشير البصل حسنات كتير قوي بأذن الله! انما بقي الست التانية، طبعا الله اعلم ربنا بحسابها، بس احساسي بيقوللي ان الغلبان جوزها ممكن يجيلوا تسسم من كتر الغل اللي في الاكل

:D

 

باب الحسنات مش بس مقفول علي الصلاة و الصوم و الصدقة، لأ ده باب واسع قوي، عشان ربنا كريم قوي!  آى حاجة  ممكن تكون بتعملها، مهما كانت صغيرة (و تكون طبعا مش حرام)، ممكن تاخد حسنات عليها ان شاء الله، بس جدد نيتك! يعني في مذاكرتك، في شغلك، في شغل البيت، في تريبة ولادك، حتي لو في خروجك مع اصحابك بينة انك تتبسط شوية عشان ترجع تسعي في مرضاة الله...

يااااه! شوفوا كرم ربنا قد ايه؟ الحمدلله هلي نعمة الاسلام  :) متنسوش بقي كل يوم الصبح، تجددوا نيتكوا  :) :)

اللهم إجعل أعمالنا خالصة لوجهك الكريم ولا تشرك بها أحدا  :)

 

The bus station

 Have you ever stood at the bus station, saw the bus coming towards you and then thought “this one is so crowded, I will catch the next one”? … Did you ever arrive to the station just few seconds late that the bus had already left?  Happens to me all the time; but it always makes me wonder “what if?”… What if that first train could drive me faster to my destination?  What if the next one was more crowded? What if there is no next one?

When I think about it, I am amazed how much the bus station can resemble life; from how I see life, I think it has three major factors; a dream, an opportunity and time; a destination, a bus and the timing! Life is just like a bus station, revolving around these three factors; and if you lose one of them, you can never stop asking “What if?”

Most of us know Walt Disney’s famous quote “If you can dream it, you can do it. Always remember that this whole thing was started with a dream and a mouse.” This man had a dream, and he had a talent which was an opportunity. He believed that he could achieve his dreams, he seized the opportunity and he succeeded; just like that, when the timing was right, all he needed is a dream and an opportunity.

Time! It’s impossible to write down everything about “time” in one paragraph of course; but what I can tell you, is that time is the most important thing in this world; without it, life will be meaningless. “86400” seconds a day, every second is special, every moment that passes will never come back; and yet we waste days doing nothing even though we have million opportunities we can seize! Lately I started to use the time I waste on my way to college reading a book; surprisingly, I realized that I can finish a book every day; just in my transportation time. Watch out for your time because of you don’t control it, it will control you!

 Opportunities; there are two types of them; the first type is the safe, easy and more importantly available opportunity; like the subway! It’s always there, but still a lot of people prefer taking the bus. The easy opportunities are all around us, everywhere, in school, in work and even on the internet; like for example, the online free tutorials; you have a chance to learn anything you want, a language, a software program, a hobby, etc… but how many people actually use this opportunity? How many people take advantage of it? Very few people!

The other type of opportunities is the BIG opportunities that can come once in a life time! These opportunities are scary, risky and unpredictable. Some people have sense of adventure, they like to take risks and to seize these opportunities; others get scared and choose to go the “Safe” way. But sometimes their safe way make get lost, and sometimes they even forget what their destination was. And it’s up to you who do you want to be? Do you want to be just “someone else”? Or do you want to be someone who seized every opportunity?

And last but not least, we have the “Dream”. Not every one of us has a dream! And not every one of us believes that his dream can come true! But the truth is; life without a dream is tasteless! If you don’t have a destination, then what are you doing at the bus station? But thank God! If you’re not one of the lucky people who have dreams, there is a way you can find yours. SEIZE THE OPPORTUNITIES! Yes, if you don’t have any destination, be spontaneous, get on the bus, and see where it will take you. Learn new things go to new places as long as you have the opportunity to; you may find yourself in something you never thought you’d be even interested in… You have nothing to lose, so take risks! Dream big! Believe that there’s more in this life and you’ll get it… Be like Belle in beauty and the beast; when she said “There must be more than this provincial life!” she said it as if she was sure life could give her more! And that’s exactly what she got! :)

And finally, today’s message for you my reader is, seize every opportunity you can find! Because if there were no buses, how would you reach the destination? ;)

I will stand by you…

     Have you ever scolded your kid, or your little brother maybe; because he was spending his time drawing on papers, wasting his time and messing up the room? You yelled “Stop this stupid thing you’re doing and go study!” didn’t you? I did that with my sister few days ago, and you know what; SHAME ON ME!

    Every one of us has a gift inside him; maybe he knows it, and maybe not. Naturally, we are always trying to find the hidden treasure inside ourselves, to give our life a meaning, and to find out what makes us special; that’s what my sister was doing, she was digging trying to find her treasure; but foolish me! I stopped her! Even though I could’ve just said “Sweetie, you can continue your drawing, after you finish your homework” or “Sweetie,  please don’t throw papers on the floor, you can draw whatever you like, but keep the place clean” … But I didn’t! Instead I discouraged her and hurt her feelings!

    It came to my notice while I was reading some articles about “How to change bad habits”; that whenever someone writes helpful tips, “Get support” must be included.

    Come to think of it, if it hadn’t been for my siblings and my friends Hla, Rachel, Hend and Omar I wouldn’t have finished my story, I wouldn’t have created this blog  and I wouldn’t have been writing my thoughts down in these posts!  If they hadn’t supported me, I wouldn’t have had the courage to share my writings with you.

    It’s true; “Support” is one of the greatest gifts anyone can give you; it helps develop yourself and accomplish your dreams; and without it no one can move forward. Personally, I think it’s one of the human’s basic needs; it’s necessary in every relationship; parenthood, friendship or love, without support the relationship is destructive!

  Today, I learned that relationships are not about hanging out, going shopping together and gossiping; it’s about support! And sometimes the only thing your friend wants to hear is “I support you, and I will stand by you”. So, when your friend tells you that she’s going on a diet; don’t take her out for junk food; but yell at her if you catch her cheating. When your friend tells you he’s quitting smoking, don’t give up on him so fast; encourage him and believe he can do it; maybe he will take it more seriously if you do! When your friend, kid or sister tries a new hobby, take an interest instead of shutting her down.  Be a good friend :)

The window!

One month ago we had a tragic accident in our family, we lost our precious grandmother; and it was a shock for all of us. :( For a moment there I felt like I lost all my family, because grandma was the one person that brings the whole family together; and I swear I never felt that lonely like I felt the day of her funeral.

But on the same week of her death my uncle`s wife gave birth to the newest member of our family, my little cousin. :) And suddenly all the family started to come together and surround the baby and his parents; that baby was the one who brought us the joy back and helped us recovering our grief :)  

I`ve always believed that God is too merciful to take something  we love without giving us something in return to bring happiness back to our hearts; but I have never seen this theory so clear like when grandma died. His gift to us was so obvious and great... Thank God  :)

If you ever lose a friend, a job or an opportunity, be sure that there is something somewhere for you in return. The quote “When God closes a door, somewhere He opens a window” is very true, and sometimes you`re going to have to let go of your grief and look for that window around you because that`s how life works.

So today`s message is: Never lose hope, God`s mercy is infinite :) and your window will have a beautiful view, definitely :) :)

Rabbit vs. Duck!

Can you please take a look at the picture on the right side of the page…?

What can you see?

A rabbit; or a duck

Take another look now, but concentrate more; until you can see the other side of the picture.
In my opinion, the guy who drew this picture is a genius; he didn’t just draw a picture to confuse people between the rabbit and the duck, it`s not about them at all; in fact this picture here represents life!

Yes! Life is like a paradoxical picture that everyone sees in a different way. But that doesn’t mean that some of us are right and the others are wrong, it just means that we complete each other somehow; we won’t be able to get the whole picture without listening and understanding how the other sees it.  But if we do; we can be an unbeatable team. People waste a lot of time attacking others without even considering taking time to understand them.

I meet people daily on the internet, in the college, and even in the subways! They`re always fighting with each other even about things that are not worth a fight!  They spend the whole day arguing that they waste their time and energy for nothing. And then they go back home and complain “What a bad day!”
Well, don’t blame the day! We`re the ones doing that to ourselves; we choose to fight, even though if we just relax and listen to the other side we may actually find a common ground.

Dear reader, today’s lesson is: Take a breath, listen and understand!

Something new!

The mother is standing in the kitchen cooking, she reaches to get a pan off the cook; but the pan is so hot that she gets her hand burnt! Few seconds later, the little kid, who has watched the whole scene, repeats what his mother has just did, getting his hands burnt too!

How often do we see something like this happening? This small scene happens every day! But I have a question; why does the kid touch the hot plate? Does he want to get burnt? Or is he so innocent that he expects a different result?”

The new motto for young people these days is “I must try everything and learn from my experiences!” this is what a young man use as an excuse for smoking, doing drugs or committing adultery! Well, I appreciate your enthusiasm guys but that`s not what the phrase meant!

I am not saying that I am against new experiences, absolutely not; I wouldn’t miss an opportunity to travel abroad and see the world, skydive, ride a motorcycle, take karate lessons, and many others adventures that I am willing to try; because they will be useful, adventurous and amazing!

 But smoking?

 Around 5.4 million deaths a year are caused by tobacco, it`s neither a new experience nor a useful one! So if you`re still willing to try it then you`re just acting like the little kid that burns his hands! In fact you don’t have the kid`s innocence, you`re just a fool to expect a different result!

You know what? It`s a great thing to learn from our own experiences, it helps us build our personality and changes the way we see life. But it`s even a better thing to learn from everyone around us; because you`ll be gaining way more experiences than you alone can handle! It`s okay to try something new even if it turns out to be a mistake; but to make a mistake intentionally, you should be hanging your head in shame!     

Dear reader! There`s a big world out there full of adventures! So take care which ones you choose, because it`s all about choices! And as you`re willing to learn from your own experiences don`t ignore learning from the others, because that`s what smart people do!

Yes, You can :)

There`s that story I read; about some cats in a royal show that were trained to walk on 2 of their legs and hold a plate with the other 2. The show went well, until a rat showed up in the room, then all the cats dropped the plates and ran after the cat… This story was meant to teach us that natural habits beat acquired ones…. Well, I have just one comment about all that “We`re not animals”

The one difference between humans and animals is that we`re not the slaves of our own needs, we have will power and we can change if we want to. Yes, I believe that people can change, because I did.

For those who don`t know me, I am a positive person “most of the time”, I am always smiling thank God, and when I asked my brother (who`s also my best friend) to tell me what`s the worst thing about me; he said that I am over confident.

But, do you think that I have always been that way? My college friends don’t believe me when I tell them how I was 4 years ago; I was the drama queen, the princess of darkness, and my face was always frowning! Not to mention my negative attitude, my very low self-esteem, and my social life was a big zeppo!

Yes, it`s true, I have witnesses :D but thank God, today I am a 180 degree changed person :)

One day, I was talking to my friend`s mother; she`s a very wise lady. I was telling her about how bad I felt about myself, my life, blah blah blah “drama queen things :D” and I was surprised by her comment; she said “your problem is that you hate yourself” … nothing more J

I kept thinking about what she said, and I was amazed how right she was! And since that day I decided to change! It took me a lot of exercising to learn how to have a smile on my face all the time; I trained myself to be positive and confident, it wasn`t easy for me, it was a lot of hard work, but it finally worked thank God J

The reason why I told you my story is that I learned 3 great lessons from it! The first one is that people can change; the person you were yesterday doesn’t have to be the one you are today! You can change anything about you, only if you really want to! So never give up on yourself!

 Which takes me to the second lesson; you can`t change for someone, or for something, the change has to be from inside you; yes support is important and motivational, but your reason must be coming from your heart!

The third lesson that I learned is that “One word can really change someone`s life” my friend`s mother only gave me a small advice, yet I can never thank her enough!  So take care of every word you say, let your advices be constructive! May your words change someone`s life to a better one J J

Judgmental!

You know what`s the most annoying thing about us humans? It`s that we ALWAYS judge. We judge everyone; every action they do and every word they say! And it`s not like we know them that well or we ask to know their point of view, no, we just judge them.

We see someone who looks differently, or speak in an unfamiliar way, we start to say “Oh he`s not a good person, don`t listen to him” we see a girl that dresses differently, we say “Oh no, she`s a ho!” we see a student that wears glasses and has a high grades we say “LOSER!”, and it never ends!

But! What if they`re not? What if being different doesn’t mean bad, what if those people have really good hearts?  One thing that I learned from studying philosophy is that nobody knows everything , everyone sees life according to his own experiences and everyone has reasons to do what he does; so as long as we don`t know them, we can`t judge!

I made a deal with myself few days ago to stop judging without really knowing; It`s very hard but it feels great! And in the middle of all the political issues that we now have in Egypt, I started not to attack, but to defend everyone! I started to look for goodness in everyone and to assume that the other person is good unless he proves not to be; and I have never been in peace with myself like this before J

Seriously, the worst feeling ever is to be oppressed, so stop jumping to conclusions and put yourself in other's shoes; it`s not how a person looks that defines who he is and whether he`s good or bad, it`s what`s deep inside of him; so take your time to know that person, or you may miss knowing some great people J and instead of looking for flaws in other people, it`s time to look at the mirror and judge yourself J

Just remember, if God wanted us all to be the same and look the same, we would be; but there is wisdom behind our differences and our disagreements.